How to Create an Adoption Support System

Adoption is an exciting journey, but it’s also one that can be filled with many emotional ups and downs for prospective parents waiting to bring a child home into their family. No one should have to go through adoption alone — and with FCCA, you won’t have to.

Anyone preparing to go through the adoption process should carefully research the process, costs and requirements of their journey, but it’s also important that prospective parents create a support system to lean on throughout, as well. You’ve heard that it takes a village to raise a child. It’s safe to say it can take a village to adopt one, too.

As you prepare to enter into an adoption in California, consider reaching out to these people to inform them of your commitment and ask them for support as you embark on this life-changing journey.

Your Spouse

Your spouse, if you have one, should be the first person to whom you turn throughout your adoption process — after all, you’re going through it together as a team. You may have experienced grief and loss from infertility together. Committing to the adoption process together requires honest communication.

This communication should continue throughout the adoption process, as well. Adoption can be difficult, but it’s important that you and your partner remain that — partners. When times get difficult, don’t take it out on your spouse. Instead, take a breather from a process that has likely consumed your relationship for years. Give yourselves the chance to reconnect in a healthy way, and always express your appreciation and love for each other. You will make it through your adoption process together and stronger than ever; it will just take some time, patience, and understanding.

If you are struggling to come to terms with a mutual adoption decision, or if you’re experiencing emotional difficulties during your adoption process, speak to your adoption professional or another professional counselor.

Your Family and Friends

While the support of your spouse is important, it’s also important to have support from someone who is on the outside of your adoption journey. Your family and friends can be extremely helpful and supportive, whether it’s as another shoulder to lean on or as a way to think about something other than your adoption for a while. Family and friends can also be instrumental in helping you raise money for your adoption costs.

But their support doesn’t always have to just be during the adoption process — family and friends can be there for you after your adoption process, as well. They can help you prepare for bringing a child home and provide babysitting for your child after the homecoming. Just like any couple that has a baby through biological conception, you will likely be overwhelmed during your post-placement period, and the knowledgeable help of trusted family and friends can be invaluable as you adjust to your life with your new child.

When bringing your friends and family into your support system, you should be vocal about what you need from them. Some of them may not understand the adoption process or even support it at first; make sure the people you involve are ready to help you and are just as excited as you. They should be willing to discover more about adoption on their own to help you through your journey, and to be willing to offer meaningful help in line with what you have requested.

Your Adoption Professional

Another great source of support during your adoption journey is your adoption professional. When you work with FCCA to complete your adoption, you will have guidance every step of the way, as well as a trained social worker as your case manager. Before, during and after the adoption process is complete, you’ll receive counseling and support from our professionals to help make your journey as smooth as possible.

Remember, your adoption professional is there to answer whatever questions you may have along the way. Therefore, understanding what kind of support a professional offers is an important part of finding the right adoption professional for your family. You want someone who will be there when you need them, whether for practical, legal, or emotional issues.

If you ever have questions during your adoption process, you should be comfortable reaching out to your adoption professional for answers or references to local resources for immediate help.

Adoptive Parent Support Groups

While the people listed above are all good sources of support during your adoption process, you may wish to find support from someone who has been in your shoes and knows exactly what you’re feeling. Fortunately, many adoptive parent support groups are available to you, both in-person and through online mediums. As part of our adoption program, FCCA also assigns you to a “buddy family” — a family that has completed the same type of adoption you intend to complete. They will serve as your mentors through the process. Buddy families often become life-long friends.

Perhaps the most popular place to connect with other adoptive parents is through Facebook. You can join online groups to ask questions and receive advice from those who have been in your situation. Because there are so many groups online, talk to your adoption professional and other adoptive parents to find out which support groups they recommend. You may also consider joining adoptive parent forums. If you are looking for local adoptive parent support groups, you can check out the list of the American Adoption Congress here.

Your Community

Finally, while you are going through the adoption process, consider how your community can help you and your child adjust to your new lives together, especially if you choose to complete a foster care adoption. You should seek out local adoptive families like yourselves, so that your child grows up with other adopted peers. Similarly, if you are completing a transracial adoption, you should find ways to bring diversity into your child’s life.

We encourage all adoptive parents to discover what local childcare options, education resources and other parental supports are available in their area. Your assigned social worker with FCCA can also help you find local resources throughout your adoption process.


Prospective adoptive parents have a wealth of resources available to them when it comes to adoption support. The professionals at FCCA are happy to provide guidance and assistance to adoptive parents before, during, and after the adoption process. To learn more about how FCCA’s professionals can be part of your support team during your adoption process, please contact our offices today.

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