Can I remain anonymous and protect my identity from disclosure?

Adoption is a personal decision. Only you can decide who to tell or not tell about your adoption plan. If you feel strongly that you want to keep your pregnancy and adoption a secret, you may choose to remain anonymous before, during and after the adoption.

However, you should also know that adoption is a brave and selfless act, and there is no shame about choosing adoption for your baby. While it may seem necessary to hide your pregnancy and adoption from certain friends or family members, keep some important considerations in mind before deciding to remain anonymous.

Contact FCCA Confidentially and with No Obligation

If you are pregnant and considering adoption for your baby, you may submit a confidential inquiry or call our toll-free hotline at any time for free adoption information. Your call is confidential and does not obligate you to proceed with an adoption plan.

Decide Who to Tell About Your Adoption Plan

You are in control of your adoption plan, and that includes deciding who you tell and don’t tell about the adoption.* It is generally recommended that you only keep your pregnancy and adoption a secret if you are concerned for your safety or wellbeing. Confiding in even one close friend or family member can help ensure that you have the emotional support you need throughout the adoption process.

However, if you choose to keep your adoption a secret, you should not have to go through the process alone. Your adoption social worker will be there every step of the way to provide the support and guidance you need.

* Exception to confidentiality rule: FCCA social workers are mandated reporters of child abuse and must contact CPS if they become aware of suspected child abuse. We are legally required to give notice of the adoption plan to any presumed or identified alleged father.

Choose a Closed Adoption to Maintain Privacy

You can choose to remain anonymous during and after the adoption process by choosing closed adoption and allowing FCCA to select the adoptive parents on your behalf. FCCA will not disclose your identifying information to them.

However, it is possible that the child could apply to the court at a future date and request that the adoption records be unsealed. It is also possible for laws to change so that adoption records could be opened without a court order. This means that the child could potentially learn your identity and whereabouts.

FCCA encourages you to keep your address and contact information on file with us. That way, if the child contacts us in an attempt to find you, we can contact you confidentially to ask you if you are interested in making contact with the child. We can then confidentially convey your response to the child.

Pros and Cons of Anonymous Adoption

Even when a prospective birth mother feels confident in her adoption decision, it can be difficult to share this news with loved ones. In certain circumstances, keeping the adoption confidential may be advantageous. Here are the benefits of hiding your pregnancy and adoption plan: 

In some ways, it may seem easier not to tell friends and family members about your adoption plan — but pregnancy and adoption are difficult secrets to keep. Here are some of the challenges to consider before choosing to remain anonymous throughout the adoption process:


If you need help talking to your loved ones about your pregnancy and adoption plan, or if you would like more information about FCCA’s confidential adoption services, please contact an adoption social worker at 844-77-ADOPT.